Haven’t had sex for quite a long time now? Sexless marriages are not uncommon. In fact, it’s estimated that about 20 million American couples aren't engaging in regular sex. Some do have sex but only very rarely. And this is more alarming than most people would realize. Regular sex life is beneficial for health and relationship. It satisfies emotional and physical needs. It also keeps a couple’s marriage stronger. Anita H. Clayton, MD, a psychiatry professor at the University of Virginia, authored the book "Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy," and in it she said that in order for a marriage to stay intact, couples should strive hard to boost their sex life. If you agree with that, here are some ways on how you can fight common sex busters.
Dry spell reason # 1- The bed doesn’t evoke sexy
Experts always say this: use the bed only for sex and sleep. But what do you? You fill up your bed with all sorts of gadgets: laptops, iPhones, mp3 players and so on. The bedroom is booming with sounds from your stereo or television. Technology doesn’t only hamper sleeping but also your sex life. It’s hard to get cozy under the sheets if your spouse is glued to the tube or can’t tear his eyes from Facebook or iPad. The solution? Make the bedroom a no-techie gadget area. Impose an electronic curfew. Limit use of technology in the living room and office room.
Dry spell reason # 2 – Blame your meds
It’s possible that the medications you’re taking are putting a damper on your sex life. A good example would be oral contraceptive pills. Isn’t that ironic? Women take these tiny pills so they can engage in wild and worry-free sex only to find out that these are draining their sex drive away. This happens because the estrogen found in the pills produce a protein called sex-hormone binding globulin (SHBG). It traps the testosterone and reduces the libido. Other meds that may steal your sex drive include those that are for acid reflux, anxiety, depression and high blood pressure. Consult your doctor to find out if the meds you’re taking are taking a toll on your sex life and ask about alternatives for these problems.
Dry spell reason # 3 – Overly hectic and stressful life
What’s your day like? Is it overloaded with too much work and chores that you don’t have any more time to be intimate with your spouse? The difference between a modern wife and a wife from the 1950s is that the latter’s work gets done at some point. A modern wife’s tasks just don’t end! Daily stresses can leave you too pooped out. The answer to this is serious time management. Don’t try to be that supermom. It’s only a myth. She doesn’t exist. If you try to do too many things at the same time, there would be something that you’d need to sacrifice in the end and the last thing that you’d want it to be is your marriage. From time to time, take a break from your stressful life. Soak on a warm bath or get a massage to relax yourself so you’ll have the energy and vigor for some sexy time with your beau.
Dry spell reason # 4 – Depression eats up sex drive
When you’re happy and you know it, hit the sack. When you’re happy and you know it, get on it! This nursery rhyme turned into naughty song does ring a bell. And the opposite is just as true. If you’re feeling down, expect sexual desire to take a plunge too. This particularly true for women. Depression can affect sexual relationships. Antidepressants aren’t good either. They lift up your mood but affect your ability to have orgasms and may even damper your sexual drive. If you’re clinically depressed, go for alternative methods of treatment like psychotherapy. Exercise can also help a lot in enhancing the mood and energy as well as boosting the blood flow to the genitals.
These are only few of the many reasons some couples are not doing the deed anymore. Don’t be among them. Find the solution to your problem today to salvage your marriage for the years to come.